just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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