forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
no more duck duck goose at the bar
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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