so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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