its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
