Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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