I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
