Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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