I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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