one might say we're banned from that church
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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