Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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