Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
