my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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