she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Found your dick twin last night
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
