I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
