you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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