Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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