At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize