I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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