Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I think my moral compass just broke
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
try to milk me bitch
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