wat bout pragnant strippers??
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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