I hate all girls vehemently.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
