Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
