I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
