He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
