I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
