I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
