I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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