You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
