New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
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It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
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We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Randomize