And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
