I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
