Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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