no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Dick very happy bro
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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