Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
