: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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