He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I wish there were birth control emojis
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
