Soap is not a condiment
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
