Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
