I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
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