just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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