Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
