i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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