Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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