I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
