I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
