Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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