I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
