i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
