WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
that's an acceptable place to lick
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
