You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
