Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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