i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
