I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
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he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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