what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
