just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
