sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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