Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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