tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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