This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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