In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
