I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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